Meeting Your Child At Their Level Instead Of Their Grade-Level

My children are often asked what grade they are in school. And that is a perfectly normal question to ask a child so that you can talk about what they are learning in school and have a conversation with them. But if you ask my kids, who are homeschooled, what grade they are in, you may get a confusing answer. Here’s why…
When my son was in first grade, he stayed at pace with math but he struggled reading. For him it wasn’t a problem with learning how to read but rather a problem focusing and completing his work. By the end of the school year, we had to make a decision about what grade he would be in the next year. He was smart enough for second grade but because he was behind in his reading and had trouble focusing, his teacher felt he would fail at that grade-level.
The truth is that my son was at a second grade math level and first grade reading level. To push him to second grade without the reading skills, set him up for failure but keeping him in first grade wasn’t really solving the real issue.
My second child also struggles with reading. He was in kindergarten when in public school and I honestly never saw any work he did. I didn’t know what level he was at or where they expected him to be. At parent/teacher conferences his teacher would tell me what a sweet and quiet boy he was in class. When we started homeschooling, I found that my middle child loved math but was scared to read. He hates making mistakes so if he thinks he can’t do something he refuses to try. He did this as a toddler when we would draw and I’ve noticed it happen when he is faced with trying new things. We have been working on it but every new thing is a challenge. So while he is at grade-level with math he is behind in reading.
In public school, you are either pushed ahead even if you are not ready in a particular area or you are held back which comes with it’s own complications.
Now that my kids are homeschooled, I teach to the level they are at. Both boys are at their “grade-level” for math but in ELA they are behind a grade level or two. I used to get upset and blame myself as a teacher. Then yesterday I spent some time unpacking some things from when I was a public school teacher.
The kids in my math class were at many different levels. Very few of the students were at the grade-level, most were behind; very behind. In fact, a lot of the students still couldn’t subtract, multiply or divide by 6th grade. Instead of being taught at their level, these students were continually pushed forward without the skills and understanding they needed. It wasn’t my fault they were behind. My job was to try to get then up to speed while still moving forward.
I remember when I was student teaching, I asked the students at the end of the year to rate my teaching. When I looked at the responses it was split down the middle; half of the students said I moved too fast and the other half said I moved too slow. I felt terrible that I hadn’t met the needs of the students. Half weren’t engaged and the other half were lost. My supervising teacher told me that was where I should be as a teacher. Because schools lump students of all different learning levels in the same class you will never be teaching at everyone’s level. I would meet with students everyday during my plan period and lunch to try and help them get up to speed. But a lot of times, the kids who were struggling were doing so because they had gotten behind years before. The hole I was trying to help them out of was deep. A few tutoring sessions was not enough to pull them out of it.
Sadly this happens to a lot of students. Public school teachers work incredibly hard to teach your children but they are faced with a large group of students who are all at various levels. They can only differentiate so much with the time and resources they are given.
Kids learning at different levels is normal. Don’t get down on yourself if your child is at one grade-level for one subject and a different grade-level for another. The wonderful thing about homeschooling is that you are able to meet your child at their level and not make them feel like they are behind or a failure. If you are not able to homeschool, you can still help your child. If your child is learning a concept that is difficult for them, take a step back to identify where your child began to struggle. A lot of topics in school build on a previous concept. Maybe your child had a hard time with subtracting and now they are struggling to divide. Revisit subtraction and build a stronger foundation in that concept to help them understand the current topic they are learning in school. Schools move fast, so even if your child seemed to understand a topic when it was being covered, that doesn’t mean they retained the concept. Revisiting (or reviewing) is perfectly fine and normal. I mean seriously, how much of what you learned in school do you remember? At what grade level are you struggling to help your child with their homework? Give your children a safe place to come and say the need help because they may not be saying it at school.

Honestly, I wish schools had classes based on level of ability so teachers would have the opportunity to truly meet the students at their level. As for my kids, that it exactly what I plan to do. So, if you ask my children what grade they are in, be prepared for a non-traditional answer.